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Diferencia entre un chupa sangre y un chupa pico

La verdad no existe ninguna diferencia. Claro, porque podríamos decir que son chupasangres, aquellos que por ejemplo (solo un ejemplo), en nombre del señor y la virgencita, del neoliberalismo y del monseñor Escrivá (ojo, es un ejemplo), se enriquecen aprovechando la liquidación de última hora de un 10% a 70% de un sinfín de empresas públicas ahí por la mitad de los 70'. Se justifica para asegurar el futuro con una empresita, además del fundito en el campu. ¿Imaginemonos que estos podrían ser (por ejemplo) los mismos empleados públicos de responsabilidad de la época? Los chupasangres podrían ser los que en esa misma época compraron bancos, y se prestaron la plata en grandes sumas entre ellos mismos. Ejemplo nomás po. Luego, como se les calentó el hocico por un poquitin más de sangre, podrían haber inventado el tongo de un sistema previsional y de salud desde donde les llueve efectivo a chorros. Sin considerar que todo esto lo pudo haber hecho posible el vampiro chupasangre maestro, el Tío Sam, que en un acto filantrópico les permite contar con líquido suficiente para 'mantener con vida' al 'decano de la prensa nacional', el diario El Mercurio.

Eso sería un ejemplo clásico de chupasangre.

-¡Hay Dioh Mio, y la virgen santa!
Si, si, si, señora linda lectora mía. Le suena familiar el cuento, lo supuse. Pues póngale el nombre que quiera y preste atención para contarle ahora de los chupapicos y disculpe la subida de tono….Escúcheme, pues esta categoría es aún más peligrosa, y se refiere a aquellos que defienden a los chupasangres. Salen en su defensa como si se les atacara la madre, sobretodo cuando un socialista, comunista, leninista, o comunista e' mierda, como les gusta llamar a aquellos buenos ciudadanos, osa poner en evidencia su condición de vampiro.

¿O sea que ese señor que sale en la tele es un chupa pico?
Si, si, si mi querida señora, ese y el otro también.
¿Y la niña esa con el pelo claro, tan dije y finita que se ve?
Esa también, sobretodo esa, aunque se hace la que es enemiga de ese otro, y si, también...de hecho ese otro es un chupasangre, ella una chupapico.
¿Ay, oiga y el señor ese con el pelo crespo aceitoso, con el pañuelito rojo, que camina como si se hubiese enjuagado mal el popó y le picara?
Si mi buena señora, ese es un híbrido, la verdad que ese es un enviado especial del demonio querida señora, cuidado. A ese hay que darle la espalda permanentemente, sino usted sabe.
……………………………….

Hablando de chupasangres y chupapicos, estoy en una librería que dispone de mesas para los lectores, escribiendo en este blog. No me quedó más que sentarme a escribir donde estoy, pues el lugar está repleto. En la mesa inmediatamente a mi derecha, un señor de unos 60 años, lee un libro de historia y come con igual entusiasmo un paquete
extra crujiente de papas fritas. No es fácil pensar con un proyecto de orangután sentado al lado, haciendo competencia consigo mismo de cual papa frita cruje más al cerrar el hocico. Este gueon es un atentado a la inspiración, pienso. La fritanga de papas al romperse en su bocota suena tan fuerte que parece que las estuviera comiendo yo mismo. Una más y se las aplasto de un manotazo seco en plena jeta.

159 comentarios:

Federico dijo...

Desde el título partimos "pituquitos".

Aún no leo tu teoría, pero el título es ya un deber comentarlo.

Saludos.

aLvAliTrOx dijo...

Notable ...la cagaste... Pura ficción eso sí. ¿te imaginai ocurriran en Chile esas weas?

Enzo Antonio dijo...

me quedó clarito, pero debo aclarar que antes de leer para mí si existía alguna diferencia, pero los argumentos fueron tan contundentes que no cabe duda que tal diferencia solo estaba en mi podrida mente.

LaRomané dijo...

Me da hasta asco pensar en como habran quedado esas paginas al ser hojeadas por ese orangutan...puaj!!!

Me cargan las frituras...


SAludos
x0x0x0
LaRomané

Luis Alejandro Bello Langer dijo...

Tanta polémica por los "chupasangre" a los que apuntó Escalona...se han fijado mucho en la forma pero pocos se han percatado del fondo. De acuerdo...quien no se sienta identificado, que la deje pasar; pero no nieguen que hay empleadores que se quedan con dinero que no es de ellos como las imposiciones legales de las cuales es un mero recaudador.

Espero que la exasperación causada por aquel personaje de las papas fritas no haya devenido en agresiones físicas, jajajaja. Saludos cordiales.

Montserrat Nicolas dijo...

Perri-te despertastes de mal humor? Pican las pulgas? Al gordi, déjalo que coma lo que quiera.

Igual, lo de chupachup de las partes del bajo-del-ombligo (léase pies o patas) como que igual a algunos le da un tanto de placer. Y eso no está ni tan mal. Creo que lo que le hace falta al mundo es más intercambio de toqueteos.

Si no, por qué los perros se huelen al saludarse?

HACIA UN REVOLCON UNIVERSAL!
Y UNA PRONTA CONSULTA NACIONAL!

Saludos curvilineos

Vickyta dijo...

Malas pulgas parece,jaja.Un rasquido en el lomo!

Pau dijo...

Cada día más ácido.... me gusta.
Te sigo leyendo.

aguirrebello dijo...

Esos chupan de todo, y especialmente SE chupan el dinero de las cotizaciones previsionales de sus desangrados.

Abrazo,

AAB

luissifuentes dijo...

diferencia o parecido..la verdad es que si la hay es mínima.Los dos engendros son un par de hijuep...Y lo peor es que identificados están hace rato...y siguen ahí los conchudos,ratas,gusanasos,
remediocres,etc, etc, etc...con el aval de las mayorías por desconocimiento o ceguera autoimpuesta.


Esperamos no hayas agredido al proyecto de orangután...dicen que te estaba espiando(tus escritos ya son considerados revolucionarios) y es de la agencia nacional de seguridad americana...menudo quilombo si le das en la jeta. jejeje.....de ripley

Lully, REFLEXIONES AL DESNUDO dijo...

Super rico este escrito.
El ùltimo pàrrafo me divertiò, al estilo de crònica, jajaja!!!
Un abrazo!

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